Is It Postpartum Depression at 3 Months?

I’m sick of putting on a face for Facebook and only showing my bright side… it’s exhausting. So Lindsey Living is now where I’m going to come to be me. All of me. Not just “look at the cute thing my son did the other day” me. I love to write, but I’m a very private person so this is a big step.

Okay, so I LOVE being a mom. I adore my children. I do not wish to hurt them or hurt myself. (Sometimes I want to hurt my husband, but that’s for many different reasons). My daughter was born 12 weeks ago and she’s a joy. I was told when I went back to work that I would be SO ready and actually relieved to rejoin the living. Truth is, I’m not. I could spend every second of the day with Abbie and be perfectly, blissfully happy. I’m not saying this to make anyone feel like a bad mom who was indeed ready to get back to work. It’s just how I feel. So there’s that.

And then there’s this sudden, overwhelming imperfect storm of anxiety, irritation and sadness that has me mentally paralyzed. I’ve read on the interwebs that this could have to do with weaning. I remember feeling the same sometime during the middle of the first year of my son’s life. I sought help, I felt better. So once again, I’m seeking help. I hope that it is in fact helpful. In the meantime, I’m trying to keep it together, keep my job (which I actually really like) and not to scare the crap out of or totally disorient my family. All while keeping up with the laundry and dishes.

Sorry, there’s no cute pic or stock image to go along with this post.

 

The Nursery Is Ready. Baby, Almost Ready!

I’m at the point in my pregnancy where I will bring life into the world before my milk in the fridge expires. It’s really any day now. And while I don’t feel as psycho ready as I did the first time, at least I have the nursery all finished!

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My aunt makes these amazing quilts and has created one for our little girl, which will be en route to Asheville with my parents when they come for The Event. I plan to hang it over the crib. She also made a cushion for the rocking chair to match!

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I also want one of those giant letter A’s to go over the day bed. Other than that, it’s pretty much done!

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I could probably do a better job of storing the wipes and dipes, but I know if it’s the slightest bit of an extra step, it won’t last long anyhow.

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As Jed says, all we need now is the baby:)

 

 

Hipster Finds Lifestyle Too Expensive, Reverts Back to Mainstream

Lindsey:

For those of you who don’t know, I live in Asheville, a hipster haven in the Blue Ridge Mountains. This little story sums up the culture here rather brilliantly. And the Lettuce Fold is my new Onion. LOVE.

Originally posted on Lettuce Fold:

HipsterASHVILLE, NC — Derek Loy has been living the hipster lifestyle for the past two years, but after his bank account began to dwindle, he reverted back to mainstream customs.

“I tried my best,” said Loy, “I really did. I was juicing regularly, eating local and organic, and was doing my best to only drink craft beer. Unfortunately, my bank account just couldn’t handle hipster living.”

Loy said the added stress on his bank account caused him to revert back to a more conventional lifestyle, that he enjoyed in his pre-hipster years.

“All the stuff I was doing was great. Kale salads and IPA’s are delicious, but you know what’s also fantastic: cheap stuff. Bud light, frozen chicken and pizza, Coke. Was I saving a lot of money on clothes? Absolutely. I mean, I was buying stuff from thrift stores that homeless people probably wouldn’t wear. And, because I rarely showered…

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Going Outside My Comfort Zone

I resisted any New Year’s resolutions this year, as I’ve learned with pregnancy and kids that over-planning and too many expectations only leads to frustration and disappointment.

Photo via Speedo.com. I don't do swim selfies. Plus, do you really think I'd post a pic of myself, pregnant in a swimsuit in January? And I did purchase a pink Speedo Swim cap, which I love:)

Photo via Speedo.com. I don’t do swim selfies. Plus, do you really think I’d post a pic of myself, pregnant in a swimsuit in January? And I did purchase a pink Speedo Swim cap, which I love:)

Right before I was about to start a diet (ordered organic meal replacement shakes from Amazon and everything), I found out I was pregnant with my second child. SUPER excited for the baby, but the baby weight on top of my already fleshier self was hard to swallow. Of course, I’m not going to try to lose weight when I’m pregnant. Add that I only seem to crave complex carbohydrates and sugar, and I’m a gestational diabetes diagnosis just waiting to happen.

So what can I do about this? Well, now that the first trimester nausea and fatigue are subsiding, I can exercise. My gym doesn’t currently offer prenatal yoga classes, but it does have a pool. Swimming is such great exercise, pregnant or not, so I decided to give it a try for the first time ever. In January. In a swimsuit. Pregnant. (In the “she looks like she’s pregnant, but not enough that I feel comfortable asking” phase, mind you.)

I’m happy to report that I swam laps for the first time on Sunday and have come out the other side without any permanent scars, emotional or otherwise. Not to say it wasn’t totally intimidating. A weekend afternoon was probably not the best time to try laps for the first time. Each lane had at least one swimmer already, which meant I had to share. The lifeguard very patiently explained to me the difference between splitting a lane and circle swimming. I’m not sure why she pointed me to fast lane as I told her I was new to this, but that’s where a spot was open so that’s where I got my feet wet, so to speak. I wasn’t five minutes into my workout (my meager interpretation of the breaststroke) when my lane partner hopped out and moved down a lane. We were splitting and not circling so I was pretty sure I wasn’t in his way. But,still, it made me even more self-conscious than I already was.

So, this morning, I Googled “lap swimming etiquette” and learned a couple of things.

1. When sharing a lane, any stroke other than freestyle is frowned upon, as you can accidentally kick your lane partner. I don’t remember kicking him, but I never remember kicking my husband and I apparently do it every night in my sleep.

2. Swimmers are possessive of their gear, even when borrowed from the pool. I may have grabbed and used a kickboard at the end of our lane. He may have gotten pissed.

3.  Some Canadian dude said in one article that everyone pees in lap pools. I really hope this is only true in Canada.

So next time, I will have to get over my fear of freestyle. And wait for a space to open up in one of the slow lanes. And try not to kick anyone or steal anyone’s stuff. Swimming is not a resolution, but I plan on sticking to it. Like all new things, it wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be.

Have you tried something lately outside of your comfort zone?

Jed’s Bug Birthday Party

We celebrated Jed’s birthday at our house just a little over a month ago and I’m finally getting around to sharing all of my crafty Pinteresting party planning. (Better late than never, right?)

We let him choose the theme. It took him about half a second to decide on bugs. For anyone planning a boys’ birthday party, here’s a little insect inspiration.

the invitations

Last year, I made the mistake of e-vites. Great in theory and for the budget, but turned out a few of the moms from Jed’s class never check their email and totally missed out. So this year, we hand-delivered straight to the cubbies — unless they never pick their kids up from school, I figured this was failsafe. Found these on Etsy from Olive & Star Paper Designs. They were wonderful to work with and did a super quick turnaround:

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the food

With a 3-5pm party time, I didn’t have to worry about a full-on meal and instead went with filling, healthy (bug) bites. We went all out with bug-themed snacks and an a-MAZE-ing cake from DOUGH, my favorite client and bakery in Asheville.

This pic doesn't really fo justice to the magnitude and deliciousness of this cake. Pastry Chef Ali Caulfield crafted a beetle coming out of the "dirt" just for Jed... his favorite bug:)

This pic doesn’t really do justice to the magnitude and deliciousness of this cake. Pastry Chef Ali Caulfield crafted a beetle coming out of the “dirt” just for Jed… his favorite bug:)

Caterpillars made from grapes with white frosting and mini-chocolate chips for eyes, put together on toothpicks.

Caterpillars made from grapes with white frosting and mini-chocolate chips for eyes, put together on toothpicks.

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P “Bee” and J: mini sandwiches in the shape of bugs, using bug cookie cutters.

Adult refreshments out back:)

Adult refreshments out back:)

the entertainment

If I could go back in time and teach myself balloon art rather than babysit, I would. In Asheville, a super smart kid who goes by Mr. Twister, has it made. He’s adorable, great with the kids and super talented. He made bug balloons for all of our guests including this dragonfly for me:) He even learned two new balloon bugs just for Jed’s party.

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We also had a bug scavenger hunt. I bought mini-magnifying glasses and a bag o’ bugs online from Amazon and hid 144 bugs all over the house. I gave extra “points” for anyone who found and got rid of any real bugs;)

decorations

I didn’t do too much in the way of decorating. I used some burlap fabric I had leftover from a Baby Q that I hosted last year, which I used for the table cover and made this very nifty Very Hungry Caterpillar out of balloons. I figured with other bug balloons bouncing about and bugs scattered all over the house, that was enough.

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And being close to Halloween, I was able to take advantage of a bunch of spider stuff out there, like for napkins and plates and our spider pinata. The pinata was probably overkill — had plenty to fill the two hours without it– but I thought I was self-editing when I held back on the two bug crafts I had planned. No one can say there wasn’t enough to do! In addition to the pinata candy (organic and low on sugar from this dentist’s daughter) and scavenger hunt bugs, kids brought home favor bags with Spiderman bubbles, glow-in-the-dark bug stickers and bug tattoos.

With disposable yet recyclable plates and a very helpful mother-in-law, clean-up was a breeze!

And, most importantly, everyone including parents seems to have a good time.