You’ve gotta love the curious minds of kindergartners. But the questions, my God, the fucking questions. Kids are so cute. They’re so precocious. Until you’re stuck in the car with one for 8 hours and sticking to your guns with your “I didn’t have an iPad when I was your age, I just looked out the window” crap.
Jed’s questions go from smart and philosophical:
- What’s the goverment?
- What does it mean to judge?
To strange and downright disturbing:
- Do raccoons lose teeth and if they do, does the tooth fairy visit them?
- Why is it illegal to dig up dead bodies?
It’s like having Carlton Blanchard (Wings) buckled up in your backseat:
“Why do they call them handcuffs if you wear them on your wrists?”
“If the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, what do you suppose a doorknob would feel like?”
“If they were to carpet the state of Florida, how long would it take to vacuum it?”
“If dogs don’t sweat, then what are their armpits for???”
“Geez Louise, for the love of Mike, for Pete’s sake; Who are these people?”
I’ve tried the “answering his question with a question” tactic when I don’t know how else to respond: “I don’t know Jed, do you think the tooth fairy visits raccoons?”
But some things you can’t leave to chance.
Me: “Digging up dead bodies is wrong, Jed. It’s just wrong.”
Jed: “But why?”
Me: “It just is. Doesn’t it just seem wrong to you?”
Jed: “Um, well –”
Me: “Yes! The answer is ‘yes!'”
What are some of the most shocking questions your kids have asked you? Have you been stumped or simply stunned?