11 (More) Baby Registry Tips From a Mom of Two

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Best upgrade we made: the Ubbi diaper pail

My cousins are expecting their first baby in February, so when they asked for tips, I was more than happy to oblige. (When I say cousins, I mean my first cousin and his wife, not two blood relations married to each other though I am from Kentucky.)

SO, I figured I’d share with all expecting parents while I’m at it. Because even after having two babies, there’s always more to learn through experience, and with new products popping up left and right, it’s enough to make any new parent’s head spin like an Exersaucer.

It can be so overwhelming and there’s so much stuff! I remember the first time Dave and I tried to register at Target, I dropped the registry gun and ran from the feeding aisle in a total panic. Here’s a couple of links from my blog that might help:

1. Check out this post from earlier this year before having our second and this one after our first.
Boon grass drying rack: the bigger, the better
Boon grass drying rack: the bigger, the better
2. Updates since that last post: We opted to hold off on this co-sleeper. Waited to see what kind of sleeper she was (not colicky like Jed was, thank the Lord) and didn’t end up needing one; ended up getting this activity gym instead; and this jumparoo (LOVE!); I hear they now have a larger version of the Boon grass drying rack. I recommend the bigger one; can’t say enough good things about the Ubbi diaper pail. SO much better than the Genie and so great to be able to use regular trash bags.
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3. Comotomo baby bottles. Love them HOWEVER what you won’t see in reviews for some reason is if you don’t screw the cap on just right they leak out everywhere. Can be frustrating, but super easy to clean and baby loves them!
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4. My other new fave baby thing are these Zippy bandana drool bibs. Abbie needs a bib on 24/7 or else she’d be soaked. These are cute and work well to keep her dry and comfy.
5. Pregnant Chicken: if you have not signed up for these emails, you must. They are hilarious, fun and informative.
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6. Got Aden + Anais crib sheets this time around. Super soft but snag very easily, which is disappointing considering how much they cost. Love their swaddles though! Also got one of their changing table covers. I do not recommend putting anything that isn’t wipeable on your changing table for at least the first month. If your baby is a projectile pooper like ours, you will be doing A LOT of spot treating:)
7. Never regretted not having a wipe warmer.
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Best value ever for something that can (and will) get pooped on.
8. Circo from Target makes my fave sleep-n-plays. They are cheap, cute (but not too cute), wash well, soft and zip backwards to make for easier diaper changes in the night.
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9. Abbie loves the lounger at her daycare. If I needed another hands-free option at home I would get one.
Twilight Ladybug from Cloud B
Twilight Ladybug from Cloud B
10. Also got these lights for her room at night. This one for middle of the night changes (so I can see but it’s not too bright for her) and this one for falling asleep time — she loves looking at the stars on the ceiling… and so do I:)
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11. Finally, for this winter, we got Abbie this down bunting from Eddie Bauer via Target. Keeps her warm and toasty but not too puffy, Maggie Simpson-style. Way cheaper than the all-too-tempting Fratagonia and it has a hole for your car seatbelt. (Took me two weeks to realize the hole was for the carseat… thought it was to check diapers. Hey, twofer.) Only wish they had one in my size!
And remember that for everything one mom feels strongly about, there’s another mom who has the exact opposite opinion. And all babies are different. No right or wrong! Just have fun and try not to go crazy. But if you do, that’s okay, too:)

New Moms in Skinny Jeans and Other Grievances

I’m a very impatient person. I want the Walmart checkout line/Internet connection/school bus on the highway to move faster. I want my post-baby belly gone now. I want this weight (which is quite heavy for being invisible) lifted off my chest yesterday. I wonder which I’ll lose first: The weight or the crazy?

They say it takes nine months for your body to get that way, and that long — or longer — for it to go back to “normal.” I hate They. (Almost as much as I hate the women I see who had babies after me who are already back in their skinny jeans.)

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So while I feel paralyzed by my anxiety and while I’m stomping mentally on the inside like a two-year-old because I’m not getting what I want right now, I’m at least thinking about making healthy decisions. Planning — whether it comes to fruition or not — keeps me from pushing my cuticles down past my knuckles. It’s possible none of this stuff will happen, but better to obsess virtually via Internet searches, going blurry-eyed from the bright screen light than to turn inward. It’s dark in there.

I’m thinking about:

But it’s not all talk and no walk. I said before that I was going to ask for help, and I did. Unfortunately, the perfect person to help me is not available until mid-December, but I’m going to wait it out. It’s like when you have a craving for a specific dish, but when you get to the restaurant, it’s a 45-minute wait. If you leave and try somewhere else, it will likely take almost as long but the result won’t be nearly as satisfying. So I’m going to hold out another six weeks for the ultimate mental health veggie burrito as it were.

I’ve also discovered the healthy wonder that is spaghetti squash. Not figuratively, but the real thing. The way it transforms when you scoop it out with a spoon? Blows my mind.

The Nursery Is Ready. Baby, Almost Ready!

I’m at the point in my pregnancy where I will bring life into the world before my milk in the fridge expires. It’s really any day now. And while I don’t feel as psycho ready as I did the first time, at least I have the nursery all finished!

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My aunt makes these amazing quilts and has created one for our little girl, which will be en route to Asheville with my parents when they come for The Event. I plan to hang it over the crib. She also made a cushion for the rocking chair to match!

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I also want one of those giant letter A’s to go over the day bed. Other than that, it’s pretty much done!

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I could probably do a better job of storing the wipes and dipes, but I know if it’s the slightest bit of an extra step, it won’t last long anyhow.

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As Jed says, all we need now is the baby:)

 

 

5 Steps To Getting Pool-Ready When Pregnant.

When I tell people I’m due July 31, I get a lot of sympathetic shoulder squeezes and knowing “wow, pregnant in summer” nods. Truth be told, if I’m going to be large and uncomfortable, I’d rather be by the pool than stuffed into some bulky sweater and too-tight maternity jeans (yes, even my maternity pants are too tight at this point).

I thoroughly intend to park myself by the pool like a beached whale as much as time will allow between now and then. But I had to prepare.

 

1. Maternity Swimsuit.

I actually found shopping for one of these way less painful than a typical bikini season. There are only so many to choose from and you go into it knowing you’re going to look big no matter what. I chose this black one-piece from Old Navy. In retrospect, I should’ve gotten a tankini (multiple bathroom trips in a one-piece is no fun), but, well, hindsight and all.

 

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2. Sunglasses

There are few personal shopping pleasures when pregnant. It always seems that every garment I’ve ever coveted goes on sale at this time, but of course I don’t want to buy anything before getting to know my postpartum body. Feet can change, so there’s no shoe shopping. And buying panty liners for a whole new, fun reason is truly no fun at all. But sunglasses are one thing I can indulge in without worrying about size. So this year, these were my birthday present to myself:

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I found these bamboo frames on an ethical deal shopping site. And because there was a delay in shipping, they came with a handwritten apology plus one of these handmade Guatemalan sunglass bags for free! Talk about great customer service.

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3. Water bottle

I’m supposed to drink 92 OUNCES of water per day, which is just not going to happen — but that doesn’t mean I don’t try. Because of the no-glass rule at the pool, I go with a classic Nalgene.

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4. Sundress

Sometimes you just don’t feel like being in public in a swimsuit. That goes quadruple for when you’re pregnant, which is why about 90% of the time spent by the pool, I’m wearing a cover-up. My sister got me a black cotton dress for my birthday and I’ve been living in it. I can’t find a pic of the exact one, but it’s a lot like this one from The Gap.

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For once, I would like to see an actual pregnant person model maternity clothes — swollen ankles, puffy “glowing” sweaty face, pudgy arms and all.

 

5. Trimming The Lady Garden

Last but certainly not least. I can’t see down there, but I know others can and there was no WAY I was going to attempt this blind, so I enlisted a professional. I just like to think of the pain as a warm-up for labor:)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

12 Baby Registry Tips From A Mom Who’s Been There, Done That (And Doing It Again)

A few months ago, a friend emailed me asking for advice on her baby registry. Like any first-time mom-to-be, she was totally overwhelmed. I realized after sharing my tips with her, that you might be able to benefit from them as well. I’d also like to hear from you. What are your registry must-haves?

Here’s a link to my registry so you can see what we’re needing for Round 2. Mind you, we already have a lot of the bigger stuff, but it’s also been 5 years and we gave away a lot since then or lent out things we did not get back! 🙂

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1. BOTTLES.

LOVE these glass baby bottles. Use the grown-up version myself. But will she be in a daycare? Some daycares (like ours) don’t allow glass, so you might want to also add a non-glass option. If you’re getting a Medela breast pump, they have bottle that fit perfectly with their whole system. I wouldn’t register for more than one or two of whichever you choose, though, because babies are super picky and they might not like the one you like the most. (We had to try a couple before finding the right fit.)
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2. BABY CARRIER

I love my Ergo. If I had to get a second one, I would get this one. They are supposed to be great esp when she’s small.
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3. STROLLER

I’m not as active as I like to think I am (and most certainly will never take baby on a run with me should I feel the urge to run), so I’m registering for this one. But everyone and their mother swears by the BOB Revolution. And everyone also swears by the Snap-n-Go to use at first. I never had one before but am borrowing a friend’s this time around.
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4. CRIB BUMPER

Jed liked to push his face against the sides of his crib so we never put in the bumper. Ended up eventually getting a breatheable one instead. Not as pretty but they get the job done:)
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5. BOUNCER

You will want as many hands-free options as possible. Will keep her stimulated and entertained while you do what you need to do (shower, poop, what have you). I loved my Baby Bjorn Babysitter Balance. It was a splurge but totally worth it. I also have this one. And eventually you’ll want some sort of exersaucer. I’m going to borrow one from a friend, don’t have a specific brand rec on that.

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6. CO-SLEEPER

We did not do this the last time around. Just set up the pack-n-play next to our bed. Again, we splurged and got this one. Don’t know if it’s any better than the usual ones to be honest, but hey, we were registering and it was a gift;) But after Jed’s colic, I decided we needed something else and I found this. It’s my top “ask” from our family this time. Honestly I have no personal reference for it other than what I’ve read online.
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7. DRYING RACK

LOVE our Boon grass drying rack for bottles. We still use it for Jed cups and delicate things like wine glasses.
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8. SLEEP SACKS

Did not know about these before Jed so we ended up buying all of them ourselves, but they are AWESOME. My go-to gift for expecting moms. I have no summer weight ones so this time around I’m coveting the muslin Aden + Anais ones. But the HALO ones are awesome, too.
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9. PLAY MAT

I don’t think one’s better than the other here. Just all a little different. Jed’s got wrecked by the end so we are in the market for a new one and I like this one🙂 LOVE Skip Hop!
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10. DIAPER PAIL

This is just me but I’m very anti-Diaper Genie. We had one for Jed and they aren’t expensive but those cartridges of bags you have to buy to fit them are a total racket. This time around, we’re getting this one, for which you can use regular trash bags.
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11. CAR SEAT

We have a Graco Snug Ride. I’m a fan. No complaints. Though I have a friend who prefers the Chico Keyfit. I don’t think you can go wrong either way.
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12. DIAPER BAG

Totally a personal choice. I love my Petunia Pickle Bottom touring tote. Fits so much more than I thought it would. And I got the wipeable fabric, not the silk. I know a lot of people have the Columbia one and love it. More outdoorsy:) And Skip Hop makes good ones, too. Really so many choices.
Other non-specific brand needs: hooded towel or two, wash cloths, burp cloths, humidifier, baby monitor (we didn’t do the video one but that’s a personal choice), baby wash, first aid safety kit thingy. And if you’re curious, I have the Medela Swing Breast Pump. It does one side at a time, but if you’re working full-time at an office, I bet you’ll want to invest in the double pumper.

Going Outside My Comfort Zone

I resisted any New Year’s resolutions this year, as I’ve learned with pregnancy and kids that over-planning and too many expectations only leads to frustration and disappointment.

Photo via Speedo.com. I don't do swim selfies. Plus, do you really think I'd post a pic of myself, pregnant in a swimsuit in January? And I did purchase a pink Speedo Swim cap, which I love:)
Photo via Speedo.com. I don’t do swim selfies. Plus, do you really think I’d post a pic of myself, pregnant in a swimsuit in January? And I did purchase a pink Speedo Swim cap, which I love:)

Right before I was about to start a diet (ordered organic meal replacement shakes from Amazon and everything), I found out I was pregnant with my second child. SUPER excited for the baby, but the baby weight on top of my already fleshier self was hard to swallow. Of course, I’m not going to try to lose weight when I’m pregnant. Add that I only seem to crave complex carbohydrates and sugar, and I’m a gestational diabetes diagnosis just waiting to happen.

So what can I do about this? Well, now that the first trimester nausea and fatigue are subsiding, I can exercise. My gym doesn’t currently offer prenatal yoga classes, but it does have a pool. Swimming is such great exercise, pregnant or not, so I decided to give it a try for the first time ever. In January. In a swimsuit. Pregnant. (In the “she looks like she’s pregnant, but not enough that I feel comfortable asking” phase, mind you.)

I’m happy to report that I swam laps for the first time on Sunday and have come out the other side without any permanent scars, emotional or otherwise. Not to say it wasn’t totally intimidating. A weekend afternoon was probably not the best time to try laps for the first time. Each lane had at least one swimmer already, which meant I had to share. The lifeguard very patiently explained to me the difference between splitting a lane and circle swimming. I’m not sure why she pointed me to fast lane as I told her I was new to this, but that’s where a spot was open so that’s where I got my feet wet, so to speak. I wasn’t five minutes into my workout (my meager interpretation of the breaststroke) when my lane partner hopped out and moved down a lane. We were splitting and not circling so I was pretty sure I wasn’t in his way. But,still, it made me even more self-conscious than I already was.

So, this morning, I Googled “lap swimming etiquette” and learned a couple of things.

1. When sharing a lane, any stroke other than freestyle is frowned upon, as you can accidentally kick your lane partner. I don’t remember kicking him, but I never remember kicking my husband and I apparently do it every night in my sleep.

2. Swimmers are possessive of their gear, even when borrowed from the pool. I may have grabbed and used a kickboard at the end of our lane. He may have gotten pissed.

3.  Some Canadian dude said in one article that everyone pees in lap pools. I really hope this is only true in Canada.

So next time, I will have to get over my fear of freestyle. And wait for a space to open up in one of the slow lanes. And try not to kick anyone or steal anyone’s stuff. Swimming is not a resolution, but I plan on sticking to it. Like all new things, it wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be.

Have you tried something lately outside of your comfort zone?

Baby Q: A Couple’s Baby Shower

Last weekend, Dave and I threw a Baby Q for our friends, Britt and Nate. They are the anti-baby shower type of people, but that doesn’t mean they don’t want to celebrate their little one like everyone else (and reap all of the benefits that a shower implies). I can’t say that I blame them. I was never for the cheesy games and frilly finger foods either. Since a lot of their friends are women and men, a couple’s shower made sense. And since we know them so well, an evening of barbeque, backyard games and craft beer made even more sense. Needless to say, Mama sat out on the beer sippin’ this time:)

Baby Q Invitations

I’m usually a fan of Evites, but when it comes to showers, I think paper is in order. I was amazed to find so many Baby Q designs on Etsy. It didn’t take me long though to decide on this one from PuzzlePrints:

$13 for your customized version of this design.

They responded quickly and offered great customer service. If you haven’t had a broken printer on your to-do list for two years, you could print these out yourself from the final PDF or jpeg. I had it done at a UPS store on cardstock at a very reasonable price and bought invitation-sized envelopes from Staples.  I can’t tell you how many compliments I got on these!

The Setting

Our gracious guests of honor actually offered up their home for the party. It worked out well, with their flat lawn for table and games, a nice partially covered deck, and no hauling loot post-party back to their place. Win, win!

The Baby Shower Menu

This was not your typical baby shower food. We also had to keep in mind that this would be outside in August, so we didn’t want anything too hot n’ heavy. And being in the South, there was a definite Southern, local flare to our fare:

Appetizers:

  • Cheese Spread Duo: Pimento Cheese (my mom’s famous recipe) and Three Graces Dairy goat cheese from right down the road in Marshall, NC, served with an assortment of crackers.
  • Veggie Tray with Ranch dip.

Beverages:

The etch-it labels for claiming cups were a huge hit with kids and adults!

The Main Event

Watermelon, blueberry and feta salad. Photo from readbreathe.com.
  • Pulled-pork barbeque (Dave smoked it for 12 hours and made his own two sauces to go with it: Piedmont and Eastern. YUM.)
  • Zesty Slaw
  • Potato Salad, recipe from Brown-Eyed Baker. We left out the eggs. I’m not a potato salad person, but was thinking of the greater good. It went over very well!
  • Watermelon, Blueberry and Feta Salad, recipe by Kath Younger. She shared it in the August 2011 issue of Breathe Magazine. I used fresh basil rather than mint.
  • I recruited help from a friend to put together a garden salad. She created her own crunchy topping and a homemade dressing.
  • The dessert table: mini cupcakes in vanilla and chocolate, Guinness brownies a la grandma-to-be, and a bouquet spray of fruit twists in various colors and flavors from Fresh Market. I love their candy section!

Activities

  • We busted out the root ball, cornhole, and Kan Jam (although by the end of the evening, boys big and small were using the “Kans” to just roll down the hill)
Guests could write advice, words of wisdom and well wishes for the parents-to-be. I love the Denyse Schmidt fabric I found!
  • And, okay, it is a baby shower, so I had to do one crafty baby showerish thing. I made my first memory board using a mix of a few tutorials I found online, and I learned a couple of things:
  1. Nothing makes me feel better than hearing how easy it was for a group of seventh graders to do something in ten minutes that took me two trips to the fabric store.
  2. One of the women said she’d tried this with both a regular stapler and staple gun. She said a regular stapler worked much better. I beg to differ.

The Set-Up

  • We had a buffet inside with a separate dessert table.
  • Appetizers and drinks served on the deck.
  • Tables and backyard games on the lawn. (Guests were prompted to bring their own lawn chairs.)
  • I used burlap fabric for table covers and small mixed bouquets from the farmers market (bought that morning) in everyone’s favorite party accessory, mason jars.

Favors

  • We bought three types of barbeque sauce by the quart from Asheville’s famous 12 Bones Smokehouse. We redistributed them into mason jelly jars and gave them cutesy baby names: Western Carolina Girl (tomato), Sugar ‘n’ Spice (blueberry chipotle) and Temper Tantrum (spicy mustard).
  • Kids got bubbles, but they got their favors when they arrived:)

The Flow

  • Guests arrived at 5-ish.
  • Drinks and apps, 5-6:30pm.
  • Dinner
  • Open presents at 7pm. (We opened their new pack n’ play to use as the gift “table”. Kept it inside, then it rolled out easily onto the deck when it was time.)
  • Folks with kids (with bedtimes) could see their gifts opened and still be home at a reasonable hour. Some stayed a little later. When I left at 9:15, the Mexican Lager was kicked, but the Pale Ale was still flowin’. A good time was had by all.

A special thanks to our elves Jennie and Michael. Lesson learned: even when there aren’t a lot of games planned, there’s A LOT to do between sending out invitations and making the food. The devil is indeed in the details!

Belly to Belly: Garbage Pail Deodorizer Recipe

This is the tea tree oil I buy from Whole Foods, aka Greenlife in Asheville.

In a previous post, I expressed my disdain for the Diaper Genie… specifically for the expense of their replacement cartridges. We finally ditched the Genie in favor of a plain old flip-top trash can, and deal with the smell by adding a few drops of tea tree oil to a tissue and tossing it into each fresh trash bag.

A friend is following my example, but when she texted to ask for a reminder of what we did, I did a little extra research to give her options. Not everyone likes the smell of tea tree oil (I love it… it reminds me of summer camp) so I found that lemon oil has the same deodorizing properties. I also discovered this recipe, which creates a powder for the bottom of your trash can:

1 teaspoon tea tree oil
1 cup baking soda
Mix and work out all the lumps with a fork. Sprinkle in bottom of pail after liner is removed. Periodically rinse pail with vinegar and water and let dry in the sun.

In addition to deodorizing, the baking soda absorbs the smell. Plus, you sprinkle it into the can, not the bag, so it can last longer.

As my friend said, never thought we’d be exchanging garbage pail recipes.

Belly to Belly: Sing Like No One’s Listening

Perhaps one of the more unexpected roles of motherhood is The Lyricist.

It starts out innocently enough. You’re home by yourself with baby, narrating everything you do aloud (“We’re washing the dishes,” “Putting away the knives,” “F*ck that’s sharp! I mean, frick!”). Then, the narration evolves into a sing-song ditty not unlike the musical stylings of Marhsall Eriksen. I come by this naturally. My grandfather was a happy-go-lucky  guy who sang to himself all the time. And on both sides of the family, we wrote songs, poems and skits for every occasion.

My mother took the nursery rhyme route. She changed the words to popular melodies and even created some of her own for songs about changing diapers, bath time and going potty. I still use these. Pure gold.

And I’ve taken it a step further, adapting some of my favorite current songs and a few disco hits:

“Voodoo Lady” by Ween > “Doo Doo Baby”

“Super Freak” by Rick James > “Super Stink” (He’s super stinky…)

“Boogie Nights” by Heatwave > “Boogie Wipes”

You might not think you have it in you. But you’ll be surprised what sleep deprivation and long spans with no adult contact will do to a person. Like when you see a homeless person pushing his shopping cart and muttering to himself nonsensically? That will be you at the grocery store… only with a baby.

Any moms out there have some musical gems to share? We want to hear from you!

 

Belly to Belly: Going Up Against Mother Goose

Whether you’re into the cool, hip children’s books like Goodnight iPad and Go the F**k to Sleep (okay, hardly a children’s book) or you’re a fan of the classics like Goodnight Moon, one lady will be unavoidable in your child’s literary rearing: Mother Goose. She’s gifted at showers, she’s at preschool, she’s at friends’ houses… and she’s got issues.

Reading them to my child revived certain memories of my own childhood: my favorite nursery rhyme book, the way the stitching in the illustrations rose off the pages. But some of them I don’t remember. And others that I loved now look completely different in the light of adulthood. Perhaps my brain protected me from the more violent rhymes by blocking them out. Or maybe my mom skipped over them, because she, too, was shocked at the brute force of these tumultuous tales. Or perhaps the same mind that searches the entire house for the cell phone that’s in her pocket could also have conceivably forgotten a few of these over the years.

At any rate, for the more offensive ones, I’ve taken to rewriting some of the words. For other questionable rhymes, I know that Jed’s too young to really derive anything devious or sinister, so I let it slide. But that doesn’t mean I don’t stew.

Here’s a closer look at five nursery rhymes that get my goat goose:

“Goosey Goosey Gander”

Goosey goosey gander,
Whither shall I wander?
Upstairs and downstairs
And in my lady’s chamber.
There I met an old man
Who wouldn’t say his prayers,
So I took him by his left leg
And threw him down the stairs

My line: I said, “That’s okay ’cause I really don’t cares.”

My take: I chose a message of religious tolerance (and tolerance for Royalist sympathizers) over correct grammar.

“There Was An Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe”

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children, she didn’t know what to do;
She gave them some broth without any bread;
Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.

My line: Then read them a story

My take: I get that she can’t afford to feed them, but the beating seems unprovoked. Two is too young for gratuitous violence.

“Rub-a-dub-dub”

Rub a dub dub,
Three men in a tub,
And who do you think they be?
The butcher, the baker,
The candlestick maker.
Turn them out, knaves all three

My take: I don’t have any alternate verses. This one was more about the concept, and in particular the illustration that accompanied the rhyme in our book. Think about it: three old men taking a bath together, each holding a very phallic-shaped object (sausage, baguette and candlestick respectively). Not exactly suitable for small children, but totally over Jed’s head, so we read it anyways.

“Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater”

Peter Peter pumpkin eater,
Had a wife and couldn’t keep her;
He put her in a pumpkin shell,
And there he kept her very well.

My take: Not only does this scream domestic abuse, but Peter is also obviously a sociopath, possibly a serial killer. Can you imagine the media madness that would unfold modern day if it was discovered that a woman was being held captive by her husband? In a pumpkin? “Peter was the nicest man,” said their neighbor, “He helped us clean our gutters every fall.” Freak. Show.

“Humpty Dumpty”

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again

My take: I love that this is one of Jed’s favorite rhymes as I’m obsessed with anything and everything Alice (HD makes an appearance in Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking Glass). But Jed gets sad when Humpty Dumpty falls. Well, first he thinks it’s funny, and then his face turns sad, followed by an “Oh no!” and “What to do?” I hate that I don’t have an explanation or happy ending for him. I suppose I could tell him Humpty Dumpty underwent multiple major surgeries, but even if he recovered, I can only imagine what his hospital bill would look like (debt — an entirely different unhappy ending). Is there a tangible lesson that he can learn from Humpty’s misfortune? It’s always good to know not to climb on walls. The best lesson to learn from this rhyme is a simple one. It’s never too early to learn that sometimes, shit poop happens.

What are your favorite nursery rhymes? Do you think some are too violent?