I’m not all that into cycling, have a healthy fear of anything winged and firmly believe that Tom Selleck, Burt Reynolds and Ron Swanson are the only three people who can pull off a ‘stache (and one of those is fictional). But for some reason, I’m obsessed with things (mugs, stationary, clothing) with bikes, birds and mustaches on them.
I already have a pair like these, but I want this set:
I have a strict policy of not wearing white before or after Labor Day (I’m a grass stain waiting to happen). First fashion rule: Know thyself. But I still had to stop and admire these when I saw them the other day in one of my favorite local stores:
Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein wrote Portlandia’s “Put a Bird on It” sketch for me. I’m sad this sweater coat from Anthropologie is no longer available, but my savings are breathing a sigh of relief.
Do you have an ironic fashion obsession, or is it just me?
I hate birds. Okay, that’s not true. But they don’t like me and hence, I have a respectful fear of them.
It all dates back to a family trip to the San Diego Zoo. I was 14 years old and we were walking through the aviary when I was attacked by a flock of lorikeets. They say it’s good luck when a bird poops on you. I got a lot of good luck that day. I ran out of the exhibit screaming and crying. So did my sister… I had borrowed her favorite shirt.
The weird thing is, they didn’t bother anyone else, just me. I’m not making this up. My parents are as rational and reasonable as they come (politics and Kentucky basketball excluded) and they will attest to this aviary anomaly.
To this day, I still cross the street at the site of a pigeon on the sidewalk. And Alfred Hitchcock and his Birds did not do me or my hyper paranoia any favors.
That all being said, I have an odd fascination and fondness for things with birds on them (“Put a bird on it!”) and have recently coveted a number of bird abodes. Yesterday, I was at a friend’s house admiring the Airstream bird feeder on her front porch:
It was so cool, I’m seriously considering getting one myself. I even found a similar one on Etsy, along with a few other options. Perhaps if I place it far enough from my house, say, across the road, I can enjoy the beauty of the birdhouse and maybe even the birds without fear of retribution.