When Nail Polish Color Names Get Real

My favorite thing about getting my nails done isn’t the relaxation and pampering — it’s reading the names of the polish. As a writer who can’t resist a good pun, my dream job would be to work for O.P.I., ella + mila, butter London, Essie, or the like, creating names for their new nail shades.

 

Yesterday, I went with a friend to get manicures. We both got gels that were inadvertently just a few shades apart. My shade was called Dovetail, hers was called Broken Dreams. While Dovetail isn’t the most clever polish name ever created, at least it doesn’t make me want to sniff it until I pass out and forget who I am for a few minutes. Broken Dreams… that’s justĀ bleak.

In the spirit of this dark shade and approaching warm weather, I’ve created the Hopeless Springs Eternal nail polish collection (available Spring/Summer 2019, exclusively in my mind):

1. Depths of Des-pear

Green Apple 2
Credit: My Lucid Bubble

2. Li-lackluster

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Source: glaminati.com

3. Sexual Harrass-mint

ceb5f9da8e95fd4aeb5a0bd8df715ed2
Source: Essie

4. Colonosco-pea

Screen Shot 2019-02-07 at 9.59.35 AM
Credit: @fakeupfix

5. Melon-choly

Screen Shot 2019-02-07 at 10.58.11 AM

6. Sea a Therapist

 

Screen Shot 2019-02-07 at 11.18.25 AM
Source: @opi