When Nail Polish Color Names Get Real

My favorite thing about getting my nails done isn’t the relaxation and pampering — it’s reading the names of the polish. As a writer who can’t resist a good pun, my dream job would be to work for O.P.I., ella + mila, butter London, Essie, or the like, creating names for their new nail shades.


Yesterday, I went with a friend to get manicures. We both got gels that were inadvertently just a few shades apart. My shade was called Dovetail, hers was called Broken Dreams. While Dovetail isn’t the most clever polish name ever created, at least it doesn’t make me want to sniff it until I pass out and forget who I am for a few minutes. Broken Dreams… that’s just bleak.

In the spirit of this dark shade and approaching warm weather, I’ve created the Hopeless Springs Eternal nail polish collection (available Spring/Summer 2019, exclusively in my mind):

1. Depths of Des-pear

Green Apple 2
Credit: My Lucid Bubble

2. Li-lackluster

Screen Shot 2019-02-07 at 10.10.08 AM
Source: glaminati.com

3. Sexual Harrass-mint

Source: Essie

4. Colonosco-pea

Screen Shot 2019-02-07 at 9.59.35 AM
Credit: @fakeupfix

5. Melon-choly

Screen Shot 2019-02-07 at 10.58.11 AM

6. Sea a Therapist


Screen Shot 2019-02-07 at 11.18.25 AM
Source: @opi

Springing Forward: Natural Nail Polish for Spring 2012

If the weather’s warm enough to keep my feet from turning blue this late in the groundhog game, chances are I’m busting out my flippity flops. And nothing goes better with the first day of Flip Flop Season than a new shade of nail polish!

I refuse to jinx this burst of milder weather with a pedicure, so I used this hue given to me by the amazing Aleigh Acerni over at Indigo + Canary to give my toes a little TLC.

Vapour Vernissage 3-Free Nail Lacquer in Captive, $12

I’m not usually a red gal when it comes to my nails, but this new Spring 2012 shade of Vernissage Nail Lacquer from Vapour Organic Beauty called Captive is a stirring rendition of rouge — both dark and deep — perfect for early spring. (Although I imagine it will stay on well into the season until the chips fall where they may.)

Vapour has a very healthy, “free” belief system that I can get behind: DHB-free, toluene-free, formaldehyde-free, gluten-free, paraben-free, nano particle-free and cruelty-free… all leaving your conscience free. Their greenness runs the gamut from recycling and certified organic ingredients to wind power and sustainable packaging.

This photo was intentionally taken at mid-range. There’s a reason (other than sheer relaxation) that I pay someone else to do this. But unless you’re one of my dogs or that poor soul assigned to do my pedicure, you should not be in close range of my toes:

Vapour claims this line of polish is:

  • Super glossy. Check!
  • Smooth to the touch. Check!
  • Long wearing and chip resistant? Stay tuned…

What’s your current go-to hue?

A fly tier’s wife.

I asked Dave to pick up some yellow nail polish for my banana costume (sadly not nearly the most unattractive costume I’ve chosen), and he came back with these:

A “normal” person’s reaction is surprise. Shock that he would think to buy me nail hardener as well. How sensitive. How weird. How wrong.

The nail hardener, much like the feathers and foam he buys are for his crafts, sorry, fly tying. It’s actually quite an incredible hobby that requires great patience and skill. But the accoutrements make me giggle: Dave and the scrapbooking ladies gabbing in line for the register at Michael’s:)

Is your man crafty, too?

Happy Halloween everyone!